My Story

I will try to tell you a little about me and my daughters story. Thank you for taking time to read. And first off I have to say sorry for my poor English. But I will try to do my best!

My oldest daughter is turning 17 in a couple of months. She has always been a happy girl. Her smile was never fare away - she loved to do sports. And have played soccer - handball - trial - skiing and much more. She has always had lots of friends - and was the kind of girl that prefered to be outside and play climbing in trees rather than sit inside in front of the tv. There was always lots of laughter around her - and she gives so much love. Her friends love her so much - and so does her mommy.

But the fall of 2004 she slowly changed. We did not notice it at first - because the change went over so long time. But slowly she changes her friends.. her grades in school changed to worse.. she could not sleep at night... So in the spring of 2005 she had changed so much. I was worried and school was worried. She just left school during the days, without reason and not telling teachers. Also she could feel a sleep in the classes and did not do any school work.

During spring and early summer 2005 she started to run away during the nights. I could wake up in the morning and she wasn't in her bed. She did show up later that night - but I never got any explanation where she had been or whom she was with. Also during this spring we started to notice she had some really bad scars on her arms...it looked really bad. Like someone took a knife and made lots and lots and lots of cuts down their arms.

One night I had the police at the door - with my daughter. They told me that they had picked her on on the railroad track ..she was trying to kill herself.. Of course we was in real shock! But we did manage to get help for her. So she started to go to psychiatrist ..and they said she was suicidal and also had to cut herself so she could handle all her feelings and thoughts.

Both I and my daughter got help all the fall and almost till Christmas. And it really looked like it helped! My "old" girl was almost back - and it felt so good. But on the new year of 2006 everything exploded. She did not care for anything anymore..just ran away all the time.. did crime..like setting a house on fire...trying to steal cars.. The police brought her home time after time.. and we back home did not know why she did this thing or what to do..

One of the last time the police had taken her she tested positive for drugs. I was so heartbroken when I got the news! And I had to realize I could not do this alone - to help my daughter. Me and my hubby was so so tired and so heartbroken. ..so we had to say that we needed help for my girl..professional help.. Also she needed to go to a institution were there would watch her all the time and give her the help she needed. She has been there for 2 months now..but this was not the final place. Just a place till we got everything in order and find the right institution for her.

During this 2 last months she has improved so much! And the best thing - she has realized herself that she need help and really wants it herself!

So today I got the call - she did get the place in the institution we applied for. The sad news is that is on the other side of the country! But I can't afford to be selfish and feel bad about myself because she is going to be so far away. I have to think whats best for my daughter! So by the end of next week she is going to move - and will be gone at least 6 months! Both me and her want me to follow her to the institution. That's why I am having my special sale.

I do really want my best for my daughter - she has had so tough times - and I do really hope that this place can help her to sort out her life - and to give her back the believe in herself and life! Because I have and will never stop believe in her!!

Thank you for taking your time to read my story!

*huggles from a mommy that never gives up*